My peach and pit

I keep thinking about the pits. But I want to focus on the peaches.

I’ve been living alone for most of the past four years. That kind of solitude invites introspection. Sometimes too much of it. I'm still trying to understand how my brain works. Why I feel how I feel. Why it sneaks up on me when I least expect it.

This morning, I woke up from a wild wedding dream. Probably triggered by the fact that I still don’t have a dress for the one I’m maid of honor in. Less than a week away. But the weirdest part wasn’t the dream. It was that I woke up feeling the same way I was acting in it. That emotional residue. It stuck to me.

So I broke up my workday and went to get a boba.

Most of the little things I do, boba included, remind me of simpler times. Of traveling alone. Just me, moving through the world on my own time. No one else unless I chose to invite them in.

I don’t know why connection feels harder here. Maybe I’m outgrowing people. Or they’re outgrowing me. Or maybe I’m just outgrowing some older version of myself.

Whatever it is, I’m trying to shift the focus. I want to see what’s sweet. I want to keep building a life that feels soft and good. For myself and for the people I care about.

Even if some days still feel like pits.